Aging (2011 – present )

It is a project in progress about my grandmother. Her name is Nadezda, she is 90 and she lives with us.

She feels disgust towards her changed physiology, infirm body and illnesses. She has desire to love and to be loved – and at the same time she feels being unworthy of it. She constantly feels being offended because she thinks that people have the laugh of her, because of her weakness (doesn’t hear properly, almost blind). Sometimes she tells that she hates herself.

She stays at home all the time (old house, no elevator). Sometimes  she is angry and tells my mother and me: “You don’t give me keys, I can’t go outside!”. But in fact she knows that she can’t go alone without us because of her health.